What If My Dream Is To Be A Nobody?

By Ashley Setterlind, Creator of Deeply Rooted Motherhood

*This article was originally published on Deeply Rooted Motherhood’s Blog

There’s this message circulating around womanhood today: “Follow your dreams. Do whatever it takes to make your dreams happen. You are the only one in your way.”

More than ever before in our culture, it seems like women can’t just be “one thing.” We’re told not to be content to lean in to our God-given roles, gifts, and passions. We feel this pressure to have some big, flashy “dream” and go after it.

What if my actual dream is to be a nobody? To just to be a wife and a mom that honors God in her daily living? Not to be safe, but to be different for the glory of God. To stand out, not to blend in with the world, because of my faith and how that drives me to live. To get to the end of my life and see the fruit of the impact I made on the people in my direct circle of influence, face to face. Why is that not enough for the culture?

I used to have other “dreams” you know. But then God closed some doors and took my life in this direction. When I got married, that became my second priority behind Jesus. Not because I always like that I have to consider another person, but by the authority of God’s Word. After all, I chose to enter into that covenant relationship with my husband. Now we’re a team – ONE flesh. My dreams and his dreams are now our dreams. And when God blessed us with a child, motherhood became my third priority. Because there’s lots of other humans that can write, speak, sing, and counsel. But there’s only one mommy to Ada Beckett Setterlind. It’s me. And I refuse to lay my family down on the altar of my ego, or making a name for myself, or even pursuing a career that could genuinely help other people. 

That’s just my personal conviction. I’m not saying it’s yours, and that’s between you and the Lord. No judgement coming from here. I just want to speak truth into the mom today that is starting to believe the lie that you have to do MORE, even if you don’t really want to. It’s okay, sister. Follow the Lord. Be faithful in the glorious mundane. You don’t HAVE to turn your blog into a business. You don’t HAVE to be a “work-from-home” mom when all you want to be is just “mom.” You don’t HAVE to turn your hobby into a side hustle, even if you could. If you want to do those things, have the support of your husband, and are able to keep your priorities in order, then you go sista! But if you don’t have the capacity for more, and you know it, that‘s okay too. It doesn’t mean you’re not living up to your full potential, or you can’t be satisfied.

We have the ability to stand up to culture and say, “NO. I’m not going to buy the lie you’re selling. I will stay MY course. And maybe no one will know my name, but that’s fine with me. I’m not going to apologize for it. Because I don’t want them to know my name. I want them to know HIS name, Jesus.”

If you have a dream from the Lord, mama, GO GET EM. I will support you! But I just encourage you to pause and evaluate whether or not that ambition is really from the Lord, or if it’s possible that you’ve just convinced yourself you have to do more, and this “dream” you have is simply another good thing that may take away from the best things. Sometimes it’s hard to tell the difference. 

Consider the cost before you build that tower (Luke 14:28-30). You can have it all, sure! Just not all at the same time. That’s a lie. Something or someone somewhere will be stretched or sacrificed. Life is about seasons, mama. Know your season. Love your season. Be content in your season. Be faithful to your season. Remember that there may be more room for something else another day. And before you pursue that goal, career, passion, or complete lifestyle change, pray, search the Scriptures, and consider if it matters in light of eternity. Because following Jesus requires the full surrender of EVERY part of our lives (Luke 14:25-27).

Cheering you on today! xo. 

Ashley Setterlind is a follower of Jesus, pastor’s wife, mama of two, dog lover, and worship leader. She loves long strolls through Target with an iced caramel macchiato in hand, and new books are her love language. It’s her aim to encourage other mamas to be “rooted and built up in [Christ Jesus] and established in the faith, just as [we] were taught, abounding in thanksgiving” (Colossians 2:6-7). And hey, she’s deep in the trenches of motherhood too!  Her prayer is through Deeply Rooted Motherhood, the Lord may receive all the glory – through her words and her life.